


The Ghost and The Reaper

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Conflicted Emotions, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Inspired by Music, Pre-Canon, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19753270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: How funny it was, that this would be the worst crime of all.





	1. The Ghost and The Reaper

**Author's Note:**

> I strongly encourage you to listen to the song that fueled the whole creation of this fic, ['The Ghost and the Reaper'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5an-x-T0N0).  
> by The Dark Element, and appreciate the beauty of the sound and parallels in the entire lyrics. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously don't own neither Kuroshitsuji or The Dark Element song.

Can a dead person love life again?

It had been so long... he barely even remembered how that felt.

That might have been a reasonable explanation as to why he didn't recognize it at first.

Later, denied it. Why he blamed himself.

And why, in the end, he gained so much and lost so much more.

For all his efforts to ensure Claudia's well being, to ensure she would grow up, live her life against the odds God, or Fate, had decided to bestow on her, were the proof of his love for life. _Hers_. The life she had in her.

The life she herself was.

Herself.

He did not anticipate it. Expect it. That loving life would change into loving...

Something _did_ change. And it ripped out his heart and crushed it in front of him.

This could not happen.

She deserved to live, to be happy.

He was dead, and being punished for it.

This could not happen.

This could not happen.

This could not happen.

She had to be happy.

He could not be.

Claudia didn't listen.

She picked up the pieces that anguish and guilt had shattered with care and forgiveness. And she placed them all back, now entwined with some of her own and giving them all to him.

It helped him realize that nothing had changed. None of his feelings had changed, just like 136649 had not changed back into Cedric. They simply gained so much more.

Will to be alive and to be free, will to love life.

Not a change, but an evolution.

Cedric did not anticipate it, but now he remembered again. He could not let it be lost.

So unexpected, so unfortunate.

.

to be continued

* * *

  
_Dark tale of a dark love_  
_Poetry of poison_  
_The Ghost and The Reaper_


	2. The Dream and The Dreamer

Can a dead person dream of hope again?

Claudia wrote poetry at times. Eulogies of a woman in love with Death. Hardly to meet the fancy of the morbid Victorian society, if not for anything else, solely for the fact it was centered on life, loving life and giving life, rather than a cry for the grave.

Death not as a destroyer, not even as a liberator, but as a living, breathing thing that granted life in paradox.

A paradox, a dream, an illusion. A tale. Were it not theirs, Cedric might have not believed it either, but would have certainly dreamed and hoped for some semblance of it to be real. Even if only for a short while.

If only for a short while, it _was_.

The soul he tried so hard to maintain in the human world, alive and happy. So much so, it had not occured to him how her soul might see happiness with _him_. Out of everyone.

... she chose old, tired and grim Death.

Both walking the fine line of not belonging, of narrowly escaping society's jaws that tried to shred them. Both breaking them by caring, loving, bringing life themselves and giving life to someone else.

A young woman who refused to die, and a grim reaper who refused to let her, and a child born out of a naively tragic love.

A poem of defiance, of hope, of love. Of a dream.

How ephameral.

But God, was it good to dream.

So strange, so hopeful.

.

to be continued

* * *

_Grim verse from a grim soul_  
_History of heartless_  
_The dream and the dreamer_


	3. The Scream and The Screamer

Can a dead person ever learn?

Things do change. The beauty of life, opposite of death, was the constant possibility for change. Ever present, always there, every day.

(Yet he could change too. How were life and death different, then?)

People change. Emotions gain new colours. Possibilities.

All that happened to Claudia.

All that happened to Cedric.

(Was there a difference between life and death?)

Punishment.

That was the difference.

He wasn't solely, simply dead. He was being punished for a crime. Yet another one.

He _dared_ believe in hope and dreams. He _dared_ accept the happiness Claudia gave him.

Claudia changed, because of him. Because of her. Because of her children, because of society.

The beauty of life was also its downfall.

The soul he tried so hard to maintain in the human world, alive and happy. Changed from a beautiful, loving... to a frightening, ruthless soul. One that found that being so close to Death for so long meant it was expected, embraced, no longer feared. No longer mattered.

No longer important.

(The most important thing, that he tried to stop such a short amount of time ago.)

So she defied it. Challenged it. In Cedric, in her life, in her Queen.

She was beyond Death now, and it no longer mattered for her.

The _difference_ between life and death blurred for Claudia as it did to Cedric.

...But Claudia was alive, and Cedric was being punished. What he was destined to be, what he kept proving he deserved to be by every crime he commited.

Daring to end a life of suffering.

Daring to save a life of happiness.

Daring to borrow happiness for himself.

Daring to break taboos and rules.

Daring to love and give life to love.

How ironic that this would be the worst crime of all.

He did not learn.

So foolish, so hopeless.

.

to be continued

* * *

_Sour words from a sour heart_  
_Hollow and so hopeless_  
_The scream and the screamer_


	4. So lifeless, so silent

Can a dead person die twice?

... it sounded wrong.

A dead person should not speak.

(Maybe he could scream.)

A dead person should not feel.

(He gained so much and lost so much more.)

A dead person should not cry.

(But his heart was ripped out and crushed in front of him and now no one was there to piece it back again, to entwine them with so many other pieces to make it whole.)

(It hurt. It hurt too much.)

God.

God, _why._

_Why?_

None of it should happen.

He should be dead.

 _He_ should be dead, _he_ , who wanted to die, not Claudia, who deserved to live.

But he was being punished.

Again.

Again.

_Again._

_(_ This could not happen.)

Claudia shouldn't be dead.

 _He_ should be dead, but they _still_ wanted to punish him. He deserved punishment for daring to love life.

Why?

Punishment didn't do him any good. But they still tried, still branded him deserving of it.

For the worst crime of all.

Daring to be something more than he was meant to be.

Now he had to be left here, after the end, and still not dying.

Death should be the end.

Yet, for Cedric, it wasn't.

How _fair_ was that?

He, who dared to love life again. Who dared to dream of hope again. Who never learned. Who kept dying without it ever ending.

 _He_ had to stay here. A reaper of souls losing all those that mattered, haunted by the ghost of everything he could never hold again.

Claudia was gone.

So lifeless, so silent.

.

the end

.

* * *

.

 _Dead oaths from our dead lips fallen_  
_So lifeless, so silent_

.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So last year I finished my 'Reasons to smile' fic on this day. One year later, Yana still has given us zero info on these two.
> 
> Oh well. Maybe in a handful of years. Or ten more.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
